Man Deletes All Online Dating Profiles After Successfully Sucking His Own Penis

Breaking news coming out of Lansing, Michigan. Earlier today it was reported that a 29 year old man had deleted his dating profile on Tinder, Bumble, Plenty of Fish,, Farmers Only, and several other dating websites.

After reviewing the man’s profile on Facebook, it showed that he was still in fact single. This caused much confusion, making many people wonder why anyone in their right mind would remove themself from the online dating world.

We reached out to the gentleman to ask why he would do such a thing. His answer was brief, but it gave us much insight. “I finally became flexible enough to suck my own dick. I don’t need no b****** no more.” Said the man.

We asked what kind of training he has done to complete such an impressive accomplishment, but he declined any further comments.

If you or someone you know has managed to suck their own genitals, please reach out and let us know how you did it.

Everyone is asking, “Is it gay to suck your own dick?” Share this with your thoughts to let us know!


About Dixie Normous 49 Articles
Hi, my name is Dixie Normous. I am the Editor-In-Chief for the Sunnyvale Sentinel. Kind, honest, and caring are the three words I would say describe me the best. My job is to make sure you receive the best and most valuable news there is to offer! :)